Many have been accused of snoring. I am one of those who allegedly broke the silence of the night with a low rumble. And for many of us, we believed we were the unfortunate victims of an unfounded conspiracy in an effort to embarrass us. Of course, the reality of the situation is that we weren’t there to give a denial . . . or at least not conscious.
Recently, however, my greatest fears were confirmed when my family came into town for a visit. After a big lunch, while we were watching the big football game in front of the fireplace on a cold afternoon, a few of my family members fell asleep for an afternoon nap. Now, in an effort to protect the innocent, I won’t share the names of the accused, you see, I would never embarrass my own mother and brother like that. I was about midway through my nap when I felt a small rumble and I wondered if the load in the dryer was unbalanced.
As I gathered myself into a more awake state, I started getting worried as it sounded as if our new home had been placed in the middle of a railroad track and the afternoon freight was making its way through our living room. That didn’t make any sense, so as I tried hard to determine the source of this growing rumble, I suddenly experienced a jolt of fear down my spine as I realized I must have missed a storm warning during my nap and there was a tornado bearing down on our house. A moment more and I gained my full bearing and realized that this sound, which could only be described as a combination of a Grizzly Bear charging me while brandishing a revved up chainsaw, was actually coming from my napping family.
Then it hit me, the nasty allegations, the teasing and the complaining may have been true. Could it be possible that I too, the gentle and caring person that I am, sounded like a diesel engine wood chipper in my sleep. I remembered the allegation that my own son, only three at the time, had so carelessly lobbed at me while we were on a vacation and all sleeping in the same room. Upon awaking the first morning of that vacation, my son turns to my wife and says, “Mommy, what was that sound last night?”
“What did it sound like?”
“GRRROWWWWWLRRRRRR!!!!!” my son screams in his re-enactment.
My wife starts laughing, “That was probably Daddy snoring, just try and sleep through it honey.”
My son pauses, looks at her and says with the most serious face, “But I hear it in my dreams!”
Alright, I get it. So it was true. So my wife has suffered through years of interrupted sleep by the sounds of a dog fighting ring in our bedroom. I just want to be clear, it’s not my fault, I inherited this problem!
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