The flower girl and the ring "bear", Part II

My column last week highlighted a family wedding we had over the weekend and the frightening invitation for our children to participate in this special event. You may be wondering, why would I use the term “frightening” in relation to my children being asked to be a part of this special day? Well, my children are 4 and 2 years old . . . enough said? My son was serving as the ring bearer (or ring “bear” as he preferred it) and my daughter was the flower girl (as we travelled to the wedding, she had only been willing to try the dress on one time; all other efforts resulted in a crying fit . . . not a good sign).


The day of the wedding started well; in fact, my son loved the suit he would wear (which he kept referring to as his “costume”) during the wedding. However, on the drive to the church, my daughter started yawning. Now let me pause here to explain something that many of you parents already know. A yawn to a 2 year old should be considered in the same manner as a meteorologist views dark black clouds on the horizon, particularly on a day where a special event is planned. But, the wedding was too close and it was too late for a nap, so we pressed forward.

When the moment arrived, the wedding party was dressed and lined up (including both the kids) at the end of the aisle. I had positioned myself as the “receiver” toward the front of the church to collect the kids once they completed the walk. That is when I noticed my wife (who was a bridesmaid) walking down the aisle, carrying our daughter (the dark clouds were starting to thunder). While this was not the plan, it seemed like it still might work.

My son, despite being distracted for a moment by me taking pictures, was in perfect form. They both successfully completed their walks and just before the bride started her procession down the aisle and as I collected the children from the front of the church is when the dark clouds finally erupted with thunder, lightening, and torrential rain in the form of a 2 year old letting loose a blood curling scream. Now if you’ve never heard that type of scream in a church, it really has an incredible carrying capacity as the high ceilings and tile floors are very conducive to carrying sound. Too bad that is NOT what we were looking for.

I immediately ushered the children out a side door in an effort to avoid stealing attention from the beautiful bride. Once outside, I thought my daughter would calm down, however, she turned it up a notch, reaching an octave that I thought only dogs could hear, but that was alright, because our duties were finished and for the most part (minus one, age appropriate scream), were successfully completed.

At the end of the night, as I was putting the kids to bed, my son turned to me and said, “I was the best ring ‘bear’, wasn’t I daddy?” And with joy in my heart and a smile on my face, I confirmed that he was, both the kids were incredible. The night was a success for the entire family, bride and groom, as well as, flower girl and ring “bear”.

What’s the next formal family adventure you ask? Well, my other brother-in-law is getting married in June and the kids will be in the same familiar roles - ring “bear” and flower girl, so stay tuned (do I hear thunder on the horizon?)

Only Fools Rush In

As incoming President of the Kiwanis Club of Cleveland, I recently had the distinct pleasure of serving as a delegate at the Kiwanis International Conference. After holding the conference in previous years in places like Toronto, Tokyo, and now next year in Geneva, Switzerland, this year I learn, they hold it in Las Vegas (they must have known I was coming). As we walked through the convention center during the conference, a woman walked up to us and said, “Do you want to get married . . . by Elvis?”


Now, since I began writing this column, I have been asked some strange questions, but this one was definitely unique. Anywhere else, this question would have seemed out of place, but considering the fact we were in Las Vegas, it seemed just about right. So of course, my wife and l almost immediately and simultaneously said, “Yes!” It was actually quite a coincidence she asked, because when we were engaged, we often joked about slipping off to Las Vegas and getting married by Elvis. Now we were faced with the real life opportunity.

Following our positive response, the woman quickly warned us, “Now this is for real, it will be official, Elvis is an ordained minister.” We took pause. A few thoughts ran through my head. First, I thought wouldn’t it be funny if the real Elvis really was an ordained minister and had done weddings when he was performing in Vegas? Second, I figured it would be legal to get married since I had already been married for over six years (assuming I was marrying the same woman, which after a quick inspection, I was). Lastly, I wondered if my wife would actually agree to marry me again, considering she has spent six years getting to know me (for all of you who were wondering, she did).

Despite the warning, we agreed to go ahead with the ceremony. We introduced ourselves to Elvis (he was slightly shorter than I had imagined) and he quickly reminded us again that he was an ordained minister and that this was a real ceremony. I wondered for a moment why they were so persistent on making this point clear and then I had a picture of some unsuspecting couple out on their first date, thinking this would be cute, going through a “mock” wedding ceremony, only to find out after the fact that they had actually been married by an ordained minister impersonating Elvis (it might make a great reality TV show). After the reminder that I was indeed going through an official marriage ceremony with my wife, he informed us that he had left his guitar in the trunk of his car. This was almost a deal breaker. What kind of self-respecting Elvis would leave his guitar in the trunk of his car when he planned on doing wedding ceremonies? I bet the real Elvis would have never allowed that to happen. Nonetheless, I had become overwhelmed with wedding fever and agreed to go through with the ceremony, despite the absence of the guitar.

We jumped into the ceremony and with a number of Kiwanians observing, my wife agreed to, “Love Me Tender” and never leave me at “Heartbreak Hotel”. I, in turn, agreed to not be a “Hound Dog” and be her, “Big Hunk O’Love,” while having a “Burning Love” for her for all of my days.

Just like that, we went from attending a International Kiwanis Conference to being on our second honeymoon, Viva Las Vegas! I guess after six years of marriage, renewing our vows made the old Elvis ballad, “I Can’t Help Falling In Love with You” true once again.