Ready, set, "Wanna Race" . . . GO!

The consequences to my actions lay only a few days away. This seemed like such a great idea when I signed up 6 months ago. I knew it would motivate me to get in shape and lose weight and it did, but now it is here . . . an experience of pure torture called the Nashville Half Marathon and I’ll be running (uh, maybe jogging . . . uh, maybe) the entire 13.1 miles this Saturday. Just this week I received my confirmation email (I guess it took them this long to coordinate the proper medical personnel in order to let this fat guy run the race) with my corral assignment. I'll probably need to explain what a corral is, although, you can probably figure it out from the title. Because this particular event has so many registered runners (around 35,000 are expected this year . . . yes, I said 35,000 runners), logistically, you simply cannot have a mass start (although it would be funny to see 35,000 runners try and line up on "Ready, Set, Go!"). So the organizers have essentially created waves of 1,000 people at a time (these waves are separated by about 1-2 minutes, giving time for the runners to spread out a bit and allowing the course to not be too crowded. If you do the math, that means there will be approximately 35 waves. It sounds like a mess . . . and it is, except it is strangely an organized mess.
Some of you may be concerned, "But Matt, what about your course record-setting time? If you start later than others, don't they have an advantage?"
Thanks for your concern, but ultimately my record-setting time is safe no matter where I start. You see, a timer chip is placed in your shoe that triggers a clock when you cross the start line and again when you cross the finish line, so the timing is an accurate result of your run (there goes one excuse). Nonetheless, there is some strategy in corral position. The theory is, put the faster runners at the front and the slower runners at the back in order to prevent the speed demons from running over the tortoises. I, qualify as a tortoise, so theoretically, I should be at the back (corral #34 would probably be appropriate).
However, because I was looking forward to this event with so much anticipation, I signed up early . . . very early. So early in fact, I was one of the first 2000 people to sign up for the event. I can almost hear your minds figuring this out. Yes, this is where the theoretical system fails. If there are 1,000 people PER CORRAL and if you are one of the first 2,000 people to sign up, even if you are the slowest person of those 2,000 . . . your race position will be in corral #2. So here we go, this Saturday, in an event with about 35,000 runners, including Olympic hopefuls and World Record setters, I will be toeing the line in corral #2.
I will probably be shoulder to shoulder with some wiry, professional Kenyan marathoner. So I’ve decided on my strategy. I'll put my toe on the line (slightly in front of his) and slowly turn my face to lock eyes with this key competitor. We'll size each other up (this should take him significantly longer as there is much more of me to size up) and I'll give him that intimidating Clint Eastwood squint.
Then, for all the fat guys in the world who have never won a race, in a low, gravelly voice, I'll say, "Wanna race?” Before he laughs and before the gun goes off and I am exposed for the snail that I am, I will have that one shining moment of glory, I was winning a half marathon against a true professional . . . unfortunately, this is when they will say, “Ready, Set, GO!”

The Fat Guy (me) is singing!

If you are reading this because you were excited by my Facebook post of "big announcement", please be prepared to be woefully disappointed.  But for those of you who are interested, which probably includes my wife and maybe the dog (and his interest is questionable), my athletic career is slowly winding down (probably better described as a screeching halt, like a big, fat locomotive that just slammed on the brakes).  I can hear all the cries of disappointment and I appreciate your love, but I just can't go on any longer (I'll spare you the professional athlete excuses of "wanting to spend more time with my family," or "I've accomplished all I want to accomplish in the game," because I have always spent time with my family, that's why I run at 5:30 a.m. and I haven't accomplished ANYTHING in running!)  However, I have committed to running the Nashville Half-Marathon for the purpose of raising money for the People for Care and Learning, a great organization that is doing amazing work for the people of SE Asia (http://www.peopleforcare.org/), and I plan to see that through, so consider supporting my efforts by giving whatever you might afford to www.active.com/donate/pclrunforhope/mattryerson. 

I mean, seriously, if I can get up at 5:17 a.m. (by an old habit, I must set my alarm clock on odd number NOT ending in 5 . . . yes, it sounds crazy and my wife would agree with you, but that's a different story), run on a treadmill for an hour and 15 minutes in total pain, couldn't you find it in your heart to support these courageous efforts with a small donation (how about that for an awesome guilt trip, how could you say "no" to that)?

Unfortunately, the back problems I suffered two years ago in my training for Nashville have struck again.  I have throbbing pain running down my lower back, into my hip and all the way down to my knee.  Now if you are one of my doctor friends (of which I have none), I know you'll probably say, "Go get that checked out!"  And I will relieve your concern by saying, I have.  I know what the problem is at it isn't fixable except by surgery and I am not willing to submit to back surgery at this point. 

You ever hear the joke of the guy that goes to the doctor and says my elbow hurts when I move my arm like this (imagine this guy twisting his arm into an awkward position behind his back) and the doctor simply says, "Then don't move your arm like that."  Well, that is the solution to my problem.  My back hurts when I run, the solution is to stop the pounding on my back and hang up the running shoes.  So, once Nashville is over, I'll solve this pain problem and stop doing the thing that causes the pain . . . running.  It is true.  You won't see my blazing speed on the treadmill at the Y or at the Greenway (which shouldn't be missed, since I didn't have blazing speed to start).  Yes, I am retiring.  The fat guy (me) is singing.  Thanks for your support along the way (and for not laughing at me as I plod along) and if you feel really sorry for me, show me by giving to the above cause (another sorry guilt trip, don't you love it?)

Pushing forward

If you've been following my blog or my life in general (which, if that is true, please allow me to apologize), you probably know that I have been in training for the Nashville Half Marathon on Saturday, April 30th.  This is a day I look forward to with much anticipation, although, probably not for the reasons you might guess.  I am looking forward to it because that is the day that this "training" will be over. 

Now, don't worry, I will continue to work out, but I like to swim, bike, and do other forms of exercise.  In preparation for this run I have fully committed myself to running . . . which hurts.  Not like the injury type of pain many people complain of, no, this is just the "I don't like to run, so I like to complain" type of hurt.  I NEVER feel good after running.  I feel good that I've done it, like somebody will feel good once you've completed your taxes and paid the IRS your tax bill, but my body doesn't feel good.  I just feel good that it's over and not hanging over my head any more.

Nonetheless, you (my blog readers) are my accountability partner (or partners, IF, more than one person actually reads this), so with that, I give you my latest training results.  I ran the 65 Rose 5K on Saturday at Lee University in an inhuman time of 32:38.  When I say "inhuman", I am obviously being sarcastic, as the only "inhuman" part is that how can anyone go that slow.  Simply put, that time is pretty slow.  Nevermind that the guy with the prosthetic leg (an actual and TRUE athlete), the pregnant woman, and Dr. Paul Conn (in my defense, despite being slightly older than me, he is an amazing runner with an incredible record of distance running) all beat me.  So here is my excuse, when I push beyond the 6 mph rate, my back starts hurting, so I am trying to keep it down.  There, does that work for you?  The truth is, overall I felt good.  This morning, I ran 6.1 miles in about 1 hour and 5 minutes.  This is about the same pace as the 65 Roses, so I am on track.  My legs have been a little tight this morning, but I am hanging in there.  What does this all mean?  What is my prediction for Nashville?  In the words of the legendary Mr. T from Rocky III, "PAIN!"

But my most important goal is where I am failing.  My goal to rais $3000 for the People for Care and Learning through this event is moving slow and I am asking for you help (this will prevent me from writing a bad $3000 check to a nonprofit that would bounce and ultimately cause me much embarrassment, so please, PLEASE visit www.active.com/donate/pclrunforhope/mattryerson  and give anything you can afford.  Remember, this goes to an amazing organization that does amazing work worldwide (visit http://www.peopleforcare.com/ for more information).

Thanks for the great support, I have a terrific cheering section.

Matt